There is really a lot coming at us everyday and strengthening our resilience is essential for us, to be able to lead fulfilling lives.

Resilience begins with the ability to see ourselves as individuals who have the power to change the direction of our lives. A sense of competence and a healthy confidence in our abilities are key requisites for how we will cope with difficulties in life.

What Research Reveals About Resilience

Based on years of research, psychologist Suzanne C. Kobasa identified three critical factors that unite people who are able to overcome problems that come their way.

First, resilient people believe they could influence events. And even when they weren’t in the control of situation, they knew they had the power to choose their attitude toward it. Second, they were curious about the world and were interested in people around them and third, they did not evaluate problems as potential stressors, but as challenges that could help them move closer to their goals.

Later, dozens of studies have confirmed that positive, open and friendly people with a positive approach to life have a higher level of resilience compared to anxious people with a tendency to self. Resilience is strengthened by how we handle uncertainty, regulate our emotions, and maintain humor even in difficult times. Research also revealed that the higher the level of spirituality and faith, the higher the resilience.

Meaningful life and optimism

Psychologist Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, emphasizes that resiliency shouldn't be only about overcoming difficult periods of time but also about how to live a meaningful life. The most resilient people are those who are aware of who they are. Despite all their trauma and failures, they are able to maintain the meaning and purpose of their lives.

If our internal approach is pessimistic, if we exaggerate, have tunnel vision and excessively focus on problems – we might not be able to progress as individuals.

Realistic optimism helps us overcome obstacles and preserve our energy for when truly challenging life situations arise.

Resilience Through History

The need for resilience is nothing new, even though nowadays we speak about it more often. But Plato, Aristotle and other philosophers already reflected on how to live a good life. Aristotle emphasized that a well-lived life is one guided by morality and virtue. In recent years, as we have lived in prosperity, we have lost the ability to face negative experiences. We need to understand that not feeling well is also natural and stop chasing an “ideal life“.

The World Health Organization recently published statistics showing that thirty-three percent of children aged thirteen to nineteen do not know how to cope with their feelings and get through difficult situations and neither do their parents. Resilience is also about how we accept and process our own negative emotions.

At the heart of resilience lie questions such as: Is the way I am behaving now helpful? Or if I cannot change this situation, can I at least change my attitude toward it?

Is resilience a predisposition that we are already born with?

Researchers are trying to find an answer to this question, which is related to many other factors. According to Seligman, genes influence our view of life by up to fifty percent. Another forty percent is influenced by our way of living, daily habits and the environment in which we grow up. The first six years of life are absolutely crucial. The last ten percent represent the outside circumstances, which we cannot control.

Seligman conducted a study on identical twins who were separated after the death of their parents. One was raised by poor grandparents, the other was adopted by a loving foster family. The first became addicted to alcohol and ended up homeless, while the second became a successful neurosurgeon. Despite having the same genetic predispositions, the environment where they grew up shaped their future.

However, there are children who experienced great adversity at an early age yet were able to turn their lives around. Even if there was no indication for success, they found the strength to change their destiny. This inner capacity is resilience, an inner strength that goes beyond physical strength.

The Resilience Quotient

The resilient quotient, which is evaluated similarly to IQ or EQ, is based on seven key competencies. Self-awareness, critical thinking, self-regulation, the ability to build good relationships, tenacity, perseverance and the ability to manage energy.

Energy management is one of today’s biggest challenges, especially for those trying to find a healthy work-life balance. Many people try to recharge their batteries through physical exercise, but exercising, eating and sleeping well are not enough. Positive stimulation throghout theday and being surronded by people we like and feeling meaningful about what we do are also vital for well-being.

Building your resilience

Connect with others – prioritize relationships with empathetic and understanding people who can remind you that you are not alone when facing difficulties

Join a group – some people find that being a part of civic groups, faith-based communities, or other organisations help them to get support and sense of purpose

Take care of your body – promoting positive lifestyle factors and regular exercise can strenghten your body to adapt to stress and reduce anxiety or depression

Practice mindfulness – by training your mind, you can manage stress more effectively

Help others – connecting and helping others can help you to grow your resilience

Move toward your goals – set realistic goals and take smal,, regular steps that move you toward the things you want to accomplish

Accept change – change is a part of life. Accepting this can help you focus on circumstances that you can influence

Maintain a hopeful outlook – an optimistic outlook empowers you to expect that good things will happen to you.

Resilience as a Lifelong Practice

We cannot change our genetic disposition, but we can change the way we respond to life’s challenges. As psychologist Adam Grant said, „Psychological resilience is a muscle that can be strengthened.“