The day before, I had attended an event called ’Unbound’ which was about clearing ancestral lines. I realised that for him and many of us, unbound means so much more, and unbinding ourselves is essential in this day and age. We are so tied up with bindings that it’s time to identify and release them.

Most of us are carrying more than we realise, not in our hands or on our backs, but quietly, in our minds and bodies. It’s a hidden burden which no one knows, yet one which once acknowledged, can be lightened.

We carry the weight of expectations—our own and other people’s. We carry the need to get it right, to prove our worth, to never let anyone down. We carry old stories about who we’re supposed to be, often inherited from family, culture, or past experiences.

And over time, this invisible weight begins to shape us. It determines the choices we make, the risks we avoid, and even the way we speak to ourselves. It’s no wonder so many of us feel exhausted—not just physically, but emotionally.

At some point, we have to stop and ask, “What am I holding that isn’t mine? What would it feel like to set it down?”

For many, the heaviest burden is the one we place on our own shoulders. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves in every area of life— work, relationships, health, even rest. We wouldn’t expect others to achieve these high goals, yet we set them for ourselves. We tell ourselves we have to keep pushing. That slowing down would mean falling behind. That we’ll finally be enough when we achieve that next goal, fix that next flaw, or tick every box on the list. The catch is, that even if you were to tick all these boxes, you would feel just the same.

For my wedding, I lost lots of weight and dropped to a size 10. On my wedding day, it occurred to me that I didn’t feel any happier at my new, smaller size and it was certainly tough to maintain as a bigger woman. So I told my husband to remember that day, as he would never see me in a size 10 dress again! 3 months after the wedding, I was back to my heavier size and guess what? I felt exactly the same as when I was thinner!

The ‘I’ll be happy when …’ mindset doesn’t lead to freedom or fulfilment. It leads to burnout. It’s a treadmill that never stops. You are allowed to step off. Your worth isn’t tied to how much you produce or how perfectly you perform. Rest isn’t a reward—it’s a right.

Many of us are also bound by what other people think. Consequently, we edit ourselves to be more acceptable, more likable, less likely to draw criticism. We avoid speaking our truth, saying no, or taking up space because we don’t want to upset anyone.

But trying to control how others see you is an impossible task. People will form opinions regardless of what you do. Those opinions often say more about them than about you.

The cost of constantly adjusting yourself is high. You lose connection to who you really are. If people are going to form opinions anyway, why can we not just be ourselves? It’s much easier, much less stressful and we can remain true to ourselves.

Credits: Unsplash; Author: sasha-freemind;

So much of what keeps us bound isn’t visible. It’s in the stories we tell ourselves.
Stories like:
"I’m too much."
"I’m not enough."
"I can’t let people down."
"If I stop striving, I’ll fail."

These beliefs may have helped us survive in the past. They were coping mechanisms—ways to fit in, stay safe, or avoid conflict. But they are not truths. They’re outdated scripts that no longer serve us.

To live unbound isn’t about rejecting responsibility or running from commitments.
It’s about giving yourself permission to stop carrying what was never really yours. It’s about loosening the grip of perfection, approval, and old stories so you can move through life with more ease and authenticity.

There’s nothing to fix.
Nothing to earn.
Nothing to prove.

You are enough, as you are.

Perhaps freedom doesn’t come from doing more or being better?
Perhaps it begins with setting down the weight you were never meant to carry.

You don’t need fixing. You don’t need to earn rest or freedom.
You only need to allow yourself to live unbound.