Christmas lights and charming decorations can stir up depression and anxiety in ways we don't always anticipate. It's important to recognise these shifts, because when symptoms linger, they affect far more than mood - they impact physical health as well. Research shows that depression and anxiety can be as harmful to the body as obesity or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day - a powerful reminder that emotional pain deserves real care and attention.

Depression and anxiety work together in a loop - when one dominates, the other hides, yet both continue to push and pull overwhelming emotions beneath the surface. It often sounds like: "I feel low… I should be enjoying this… Why can't I enjoy this?... Something must be wrong with me." This is a potent combination, and the festive season can intensify it, magnifying everything we believe we're "missing".

Depression can manifest as a quiet, gnawing emptiness: getting out of bed feels like a small victory, making a cup of coffee becomes mechanical, and scrolling through social media deepens the ache of feeling "out of step" with everyone else. Anxiety may show up as overthinking, restlessness, or the persistent sense that you are not doing enough, being enough, or enjoying enough.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are adjusting, processing, and navigating a complex emotional landscape while carrying the heaviness of unresolved wounds.

Many expats say this time of year highlights a sense of missing out and grief for the old version of themselves. This identity shift can leave us unsure whether we are happy, sad, or both - a natural tension while carrying the invisible weight of adaptation. Studies show that expats with persistent sadness, hopelessness, sleep issues, fatigue, irritability, anger, or physical pain have a 50% higher risk than locals of developing long-term anxiety and depression, placing them in the highest percentile for these conditions. If you're experiencing these symptoms persistently, reaching out for a professional to assist you and provide crucial support with overwhelming emotions can make a significant difference.

Navigating Challenges

Understanding how your brain processes emotion can transform your relationship with difficult feelings. Your brain reacts to imagined stress the same way it reacts to real stress - when your mind ruminates on worst-case scenarios, your body releases the same chemicals as if the threat were right in front of you. Likewise, your brain can't distinguish emotional rejection from physical pain, which is why being ignored, left without closure, or feeling unseen can land like a punch to the gut.

Most emotional reactions are based on your past, not the present moment. When you recreate past images in your mind, your brain retrieves the emotions attached to them, even if your current situation is completely different. This is why the holidays can feel so intense - your nervous system is responding to old patterns, not just to what's happening now. But here's the empowering part: your emotions can change, and when they do, even your memories shift. You're not stuck reliving the same story.

Let's allow neuroplasticity to create new connections of joy and positive attitude:

Follow Your Joy Daily

Each day, choose three small things that bring even a slight sense of joy: go for a coffee, listen to a song, take a nap, read something, or enjoy a stroll. The key is to tune into what genuinely feels good to you in the moment, not what you "should" be doing to feel happy. Within a week of practising this daily, your nervous system recalibrates towards what energises you rather than what depletes you.

Check In With Yourself Record voice notes naming exactly what you are feeling: "Today I feel depressed and don't want to speak with anyone" or "I feel anxious and can't focus my mind." This isn't journalling

- it's affect labelling, a neurological technique where naming an emotion immediately reduces its intensity. The moment you say, "I am feeling anxious," your prefrontal cortex activates, helping regulate your emotional brain and separating the emotion from your identity: you're not an anxious person; you're a person experiencing anxiety in this moment.

Life Inventory

Say out loud three things about your current life that you appreciate: "I like that beaches are nearby," "I like the weather," "I like having parks within walking distance." When you intentionally redirect your brain to what you value, your emotional state influences which memories surface - when you feel sad, your brain retrieves sad memories; when you feel grateful, it retrieves joyful ones.

This Christmas, you don't need to have it all figured out. You don't need to feel only joy, only belonging, or only gratitude. The complexity you're experiencing - the push and pull between grief and excitement, isolation and connection, who you were and who you're becoming - is not a sign of failure. It's evidence of growth.

Your nervous system is learning new patterns and forming new associations. Every small choice you make - naming your feelings, appreciating one thing about your life, following what brings you joy - reshapes your relationship with this season.

You're not just surviving Christmas as an expat. You're discovering what it means to celebrate on your own terms, honour both your roots and your growth, and trust that even in the heaviness, you're building something new. This is more than getting through the holidays - this is transformation.